The Dictionary of Inappropriate Prepositions

by Vanya Dae'ia

It was the ninth day of Alturiak, in the eighty-fifth year by Arelith Reckoning, when I arrived at The Arcane Tower for my usual weekly visit. After a pleasant greeting from the head Warden Bambam Skullcracker, the two of us were met by a Gnome in mages robes inquiring about entry to The Tower, and assistance with a problem of his. Unbeknownst to me, at time time, because I had been writing in privacy for the past several days, an affliction had befallen the island which caused confusion of speech. This unimpressive Gnomish scholar brought the situation to my attention, and asked for The Tower's help.

After quite a bit of rambling on the Gnome's part, I was finally able to pry from his mouth the true purpose of his visit, and the reason for the verbal difficulties which had swept the island.

This Gnome, who later introduced himself as Redcliffe Bangletrotter, had been traveling by ship to the Moonshae Isles by way of Arelith. During the journey, he had been working with an artifact of his own creation, which he called 'The Dictionary of Inappropriate Prepositions', a magically infused tome which he hypothesized as having the power to temporarily and locally alter the meaning of words; prepositions, more specifically. The title of the work suggests that he was already keenly aware of its dangers, but Mr. Bangletrotter insisted that the troubles brought to our island of Arelith were the fault of a thief. Having failed to hide or protect this powerful book in any way, Bangletrotter's work was stolen en route, and, he surmised, brought ashore. In this assumption, he was not wrong.

By this time, a number of others had gathered to hear the Gnome's story, including a woman by the name of Snowbell. At Bangletrotter's behest, we sought a Master Diviner to assist us in our search for the misplaced tome. And, at my request, Ms. Snowbell agreed to summon Eowadra Ilael of Guldorand to join us. Being the Master Diviner that we sought, Ms. Eowadra used the powerful Aspectus Orb left behind by the late Archmage Verankht Zarunkumar to search for the location of the book. Her vision was of a glowing blue tome hidden beneath a patch of giant luminescent mushrooms. This, of course, led us to our search of The Underdark.

Ms. Eowadra, Ms. Snowbell, and myself traveled into the deep and dark heart of The Underdark; the home of the Drow. Having little information to start with, we were forced to scour the land, using what meager knowledge we possessed of the terrain to search for the particular fungus which hid our prize. On our journey, we came across an unfortunate local - deemed so for his encounter with our relatively overwhelming force - who, while unable to assist us in our search, displayed the same verbal difficulties which we had encountered on the surface. It became clear that the book was close, and its influence was immense. Thankfully, it wasn't much longer before we happened upon the mushroom which we had been seeking. Beneath it was our goal: The Dictionary.

With all haste, we returned to Cordor to deliver the tome to the Gnome who had been studying and preparing for its return in the library. Along our way, we were offered assistance by the Drow - such was the damage this careless mage had done that the troubles could inspire a temporary alliance between Elf and Dhaerrow. His promise was this: To repair the damage that his work had done by resuming control of the book and taking it away from the island. Once we returned the book to him, he scuttled away to hide in a room until his ship arrived. Presumably, using his knowledge of magic, he slipped away silently and unseen to escape the reprisal of those he had brought such strife upon.

I assume that he is gone for good, because the affliction has passed, but his story and the lesson behind it will remain. Careless fools should not tinker with forces that they do not understand and cannot control. This hideous blunder was the fault of a pompous Gnome who, during the entire ordeal of mending his mishap, could never once admit or even conceive that he might be to blame. Pride and power often walk hand in hand, and in this case disaster was the trail left behind.