Brandobaris and the Doom Lever

[The cover of this book is stamped with the symbol of Brandobaris, a hin's footprint.]

Brandobaris, hinnish god of scamps, was travelling across the lands as he often does. For many long days and many long nights he travelled with his wagon and horse, until he arrived at a vast desert. The god doesn't see a clear path to the other side, but decides to continue on. Pushing his horse to get through the rough sands.

The map claims it is but a two day journey, but he packed a week of supplies just in case. Two days in, there still is no sign of the other side of the desert. Four days, he is still trapped within the sandy land, worrying Brandobaris. A week and a half pass and Brandobaris is starting to run short on his rationed supplies, which only last another two days.

Still no sign of anything on the horizon.

Brandobaris keeps going, thinking to himself that there must be a way out.

It was the next day when he crested a dune that looked like every other dune that he came upon it. A medium sized pond with palm trees and a small structure, an oasis in the unending desert. So he brought the wagon down to the water and began to drink and water his horse. He stopped when something tapped his shoulder.

Brandobaris turned to see what had tapped him, but nothing was there.

"Sssssomething the matter?" the words came from behind him again.

Brandobaris turned once more and came face to face with a snake, a talking snake! Well, the snake had asked him a question, so he replied: "Yes, I've been travelling in the desert for two weeks now, and I desperately need food and water."

"Not a problem for sssomeone sssuch like yoursself..." replied the snake as it suddenly lunged for Brandobaris, stopping a fingers-breadth away from biting him. The snake then rattled it's tail.

"There, now you don't ever need to drink water again." the snake said cheerfully, confusing Brandobaris.

"...What?"

"You sssaid you were hungry and thirsssty, ssso I fixed it for you!" the snake said cheerfully to Brandobaris, though how it had made such possible was unknown even to Brandobaris; but he shrugged it off.

"My name isss Nate by the way. Welcome to my very sssmall kingdom."

"It's quite nice" replied Brandobaris, shrugging once more. "But... What is that over there?" asked the god as he pointed to a large golden lever.

"Ah, that! That isss jussst the dooooom lever. If you pull it, it destroysss everything within a one month walk of here. There isss a town just on the edge of the desssert, a one daysss walk from here. They'd all be dead if you pull the lever... Ssso don't!"

Now Brandobaris had seen (and done) a lot of weird things in his time, but this snake took the prize.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE A DOOM LEVER?!?" cried out Brandobaris in a mixture of bafflement and consternation. After all, here was a lever that would basically kill a large amount of people, just sitting out in the open.

"Oi! I didn't make it! It was jussst here!" says the snake, almost offended that Brandobaris assumed Nate had made the lever.

"Right, Nate, it has been a pleasure, but can you tell me how to get out of here?"

"Yesss, no problem. Jussst take thisss compasssss and follow it for three hoursss, and you'll reach the town. Once you do, would you mind picking me up sssome sssupplies?

"Sure..." replied Brandobaris, "It's the least I could do.".

So Brandobaris set off again, and sure enough within three hours following the compass, he comes across a small trading town about the size of Bendir. He stocked up on supplies for himself and bought more for Nate, and even got himself a good and proper rest at the inn. The next day he loads up his wagon with extra supplies and prepares to make the trek back to Nate at the oasis.

Three hours passed and sure enough, there was the oasis. Brandobaris could finish this task and be on his way, back to travelling the world.

Unfortunately just as Brandobaris was cresting the dune something snapped in the wagon and spooked the horse, which jumped into a full gallop dragging the wagon and Brandobaris behind it. The horse and wagon careen straight toward the oasis and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

Just then he spots Nate right in the path of the horse and wagon, and the only way to avoid him would be to turn right - right into the doom lever.

So he shouts as he runs over the snake: "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER!"

Originally told by Digo Hillofies during the third Day of Stories. Recorded, written and embellished by Minto T Fuzzypaw.